If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Utah.
If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah.
If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.
If vacation means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.
If you have switched from heat to A/C and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.
If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.
If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph–you’re going 80 and everyone is still passing you–you live in Utah.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.
If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.
If you find 10 degrees a little chilly you live in Utah.
If you actually understand these jokes and share them in a blog post, you live in Utah.